
There Are No Giant Crabs in This Novel by Jason Pargin
11/3/26; 384 pages
St. Martin's Press
John Dies at the End Series #5
There Are No Giant Crabs in This Novel: A Novel of Giant Crabs by Jason Pargin is a highly recommended bizarre science fiction satire with horror elements featuring peculiar alternate universes threatening our world. And maybe giant crabs. Basically, it is hard to find a category for this entertaining 5th novel in the John Dies at the End series. Pargin opens the novel with a warning: "...you should not read any further if you are in any kind of emotionally fragile place or have recently eaten. What follows is an unflinching look at how the powerful can twist the rest of us in to grotesque tools to serve their own diabolical ends."
John texts his partners David and Amy to report that they need to go look at a very large log of severed arms and legs has suddenly appeared at the Spirit Nothing Store (seasonally swap out Halloween in name). John, David and Amy are local subject matter experts, or the local weirdos, who are called when the cops don't want the headache of some extra-natural event which can be common in their town. Police officer "Judy Justice" meets them there. There are footprints leading away from the body parts. Then there is a strange otherworldly visitor at the house who tells them he believes a Penetrator is here and brought the log of limbs. Oh, and one of the arms is identified as belonging to David, who still has both of his arms....
Each chapter opens with a countdown to how long before the Giant Crab Attack is coming. The pace is fast and the whole absurd complicated multiverse plot has multiples of multiples going on, threatened war, and non-stop action. The town is apparently a magnate for inexplicable events and appearances of... things. As the plot deals with a multiverse situation, there are a variety of different locations and scenes, some humorous, some gory. The characters are... originals. I was unsure if John and, perhaps, David were acting the fool or really were stupid. Amy is acknowledged by everyone to be the brains behind them.
I somehow stumbled into this series without reading the previous novels because I loved I'm Starting to Worry About This Black Box of Doom (9/24/24). This is the only one of the John Dies at the End series books I've read. It has been noted that you can read this addition as a standalone, but I still felt I might be missing something by starting here. I will totally admit to feeling lost and confused at first, but once I realized this novel follows its own rules and all I was required to do was read and follow along, all was good.
There Are No Giant Crabs in This Novel is highly recommended. Thanks to St. Martin's Press for providing me with an advance reader's copy via NetGalley. My review is voluntary and expresses my honest opinion.





