Sunday, April 22, 2012

Tastes Like Human: The Shark Guys' Book of Bitingly Funny Lists

Tastes Like Human: The Shark Guys' Book of Bitingly Funny Lists  
by Noel Boivin and Christopher Lombardo
E-Formatting: Carrick Publishing 
Copyright © 2012
Smashwords Edition
ISBN: 978-1-927114-20-9
Humor writers Noel Boivin and Chris Lombardo follow up their acclaimed compendium of drunken feats, The Man Who Scared a Shark to Death (Penguin, 2007), with Tastes Like Human: The Shark Guys' Book of Bitingly Funny Lists. Here the authors, who one reviewer in reference to their first book called "fast and funny with the facts, without the morality", present a completely new and unapologetically irreverent take on the list book genre.

My Thoughts:
Tastes Like Human: The Shark Guys' Book of Bitingly Funny Lists  is the second collaborative book of lists by Noel Boivin and Christopher Lombardo. Boivin and Lombardo are known as The Shark Guys from their 2007 book, The Man Who Scared a Shark to Death and Other True Tales of Drunken Debauchery. Tastes Like Human features a wide variety of hilarious lists (see the table of contents below).
As Boivin and Lombardo write in the introduction: "The lists here reflect some of our main interests: sloth (Chapter I – Idolizing the Idle); weird animal stories (Chapter II – Man, Goat, Love: Gone Wild Kingdom); the zany happenings in the realms of religion and the occult – with a dash of death thrown in (Chapter III – The Super Unnatural); giving society's seamy underbelly a good rub (Chapter IV – There Oughtta Be a Law Against This Kind of Chapter), and, finally, telling others what to do (Chapter V – The Shark Guys' Guide to Living). There are lists here on topics such as the world's horniest cult leaders; great feats accomplished while sitting; violent acts tied directly to karaoke; marriages between animals and humans; a study of how mass murderers measure up against the attributes most commonly associated with their astrological signs ... and at least one exploding whale. The Shark Guys take a bite at all of these and more in Tastes Like Human."
Obviously in books like this everyone will like some of the lists more than others. I have a few personal favorites and a couple that had me laughing out loud, or snorting, at almost every entry. These lists are not like a grocery list or a top ten list. The lists are written in a conversational style, so, while the lists are funny, it's the authors commentary that makes the book.
Tastes Like Human is a very quick read full of laughs and information - with plenty of added sarcasm and some adult humor. Be sure to check out The Shark Guys website. They are also fans of social media, so if you feel the need to tweet or follow, check them out. If only because of the lists I enjoyed (too much), Tastes Like Human is highly recommended. I'll leave you guessing which lists were personal favorites.
Noel Boivin lives in Thailand where he writes for and is the chief sub-editor of the Sunday Bangkok Post and two weekend magazines. Boivin worked previously as an editor for the South China Morning Post and has written for several publications, including the National Post, CNN GO and the Calgary Herald.

Toronto resident Chris Lombardo (left) has written for the Globe & Mail, National Post and the Toronto Star. He has made appearances on Global National TV, CBC Newsworld TV, CBC Radio and discussed social media on Newstalk 1010.

Lists from their website,, have been featured on many sites including FARK, Cracked, IMDb, Gorilla Mask, Sports Illustrated, Huffington Post, Mental Floss, and L Magazine.
Disclosure: I was provided a Smashwords e-copy of Tastes Like Human for review purposes.
Top 8 Great Achievements in Sitting
10 Reasons to Keep Found Items
Top 5 Unlucky Lottery Losers
7 People Who Should Not Win the Lottery
Top 10 Easiest College Majors
Top 10 Useless Professions  
Top 5 People who Married Animals
Top 10 Exploding Animals
7 Campaign Ideas for PETA
Top 15 Reasons Why Sharks Are Better Than Cats  
Top 10 Horniest Cult Leaders of All Time
12 Murderers and Star Signs
Top 10 Jesus Spottings
Top 4 Virgin Mary Sightings
10 Famous Last Words That Could Use a Do-Over
5 Ways to Spruce up your Final Resting Place  
Top 6 Karaoke-Inspired Acts of Violence
Top 8 Criminal Prank Calls
6 Halloween Pranks Gone Wrong
Top 5 Out of Control College Parties
6 Creative Drug Smuggling Operations  
Top 20 First Date Suggestions
Top 13 Fighting Tips
10 Etiquette Tips for Meeting the Queen
5 ATM Etiquette Guidelines
11 Elevator Etiquette Guidelines
15 Public Transit Etiquette Guidelines  

"Lists bring order to chaos, keeping the hoi polloi from lowering the tone at exclusive nightclubs and ensuring that hit men with memory problems don't accidentally snip the wrong brake lines." opening, introduction

"By leaving belongings behind they are unintentionally entering themselves into a "pay it forward"-like system. You are the beneficiary and you will invariably lose something soon enough, thus the cycle continues. The world may not end up being a kinder place, but at least you finally get to know what it's like to own a product produced by Apple." (In 10 Reasons to Keep found Items)

"You are statistically likelier to be touched inappropriately by a person dressed as your favorite cartoon character than to win a lottery jackpot during your lifetime." (In Top 5 Unlucky Lottery Losers)
"Here we have compiled 10 tales of animals who met their splattered fate following the warped dictates of Mother Nature and others who did so in ways that could in no respect be considered natural." (In Top 10 Exploding Animals)

"Cats are carnivores and, like some impoverished elderly people, Fancy Feast is the only thing keeping them from murder."  (in 7 Campaign Ideas for PETA)
"If you have 100 sharks, you can charge people admission. If you have 100 cats, people call the cops." (In Top 15 Reasons Why Sharks Are Better Than Cats)

"Canadians do, however, turn out in droves to meet the Queen when she makes her royal tours, either out of a genuine fondness for the old girl or a love of anachronisms. And they do so despite the fact that many of them belong to families where the only things golden getting passed down is the foil on bottles rolled off the front porch." (In 10 Etiquette Tips for Meeting the Queen)

"Avoid contentious topics such as asking Her Majesty if she’s hung around this long due to her own good health or just a fervent desire to keep her homeopathy-promoting son from the throne."  (In 10 Etiquette Tips for Meeting the Queen)

"No Multitasking Do not use an ATM for any purpose other than withdrawing money unless the machine is physically attached to a bank. If you need to check your balances, bump up your cell phone credit or declare bankruptcy, do not try these exotic perambulations on a 7-Eleven ATM. Some of us have burritos and sleazy celebrity tabloids to pay for." (In 5 ATM Etiquette Guidelines)

"Do not be overly concerned about contracting some infectious disease because you’re in a confined space with people who look like they just came out of a lab. You are far likelier to be the victim of someone’s feigned nonchalance regarding flatulence." (In 11 Elevator Etiquette Guidelines)


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