Why
Seniors Are Easy Targets: The Psychology of Scammers
One in every five
Americans over 65 are taken in by scammers.
The criminals who scam elders like your mom or dad are professionals.
It’s their job, and some people claim
they study their reprehensible craft day and night. Their sole purpose is to rip
people off, and no doubt about it, they are very, very good at it. They seem to
be as intelligent and well educated in their line of work as any doctor or
lawyer is in his or her respective profession. The rest of us often
underestimate them, and the crooks like it that way because it makes their jobs
easier. Our
parents are literally nothing to them but a payday or even a game. Often they
get an adrenaline rush from defrauding others, and a sense of triumph or
victory. Put bluntly, they’re predators.
Some people who
perpetrate fraud indulge in what therapists call “selective disengagement of
moral self-sanction from inhumane conduct.” What a mouthful! This means they use
mental games to ignore internal messages meant to stop them from hurting others.
I theorize that they often use worthy ends such as the need to support a family
in a hostile economic environment to socially and morally justify hurting our
parents. They downplay the harm they cause and even blame the victims for
bringing the problems on themselves. Others are sociopaths who lack a conscience
and simply don’t care what happened to others. Either way, or through a
combination of these two elements, our elder loved ones don’t stand a chance
against these people unless we help them.
A
scammer makes contact with a potential elderly victim, and then begins building
a manipulative web of lies carefully designed to make the senior believe they
can gain money or help someone else. When an elderly person gets ripped off by a
scammer, it isn’t about being stupid; it’s often about unmet needs like feeling
lonely, worry about limited finances, or the desire to help others. Many people
judge victims of frauds and scams as stupid, gullible, or some variation of
these ideas. I disagree.
In my
experience, seniors are easy prey for scammers because they have unmet
needs. They may feel lonely,
undervalued, bored, poor, or sincerely desire to help others. These needs make the ploy for the chance to
win a bunch of money, bail a grandchild out of a foreign prison, or save a lot
of money on driveway resurfacing sound like a good idea to a senior.
A
certain level of unmet needs in an elder is normal, so please do your best to
move beyond any guilt you may feel about this. We can’t possibly meet all of our
needs as younger adults, let alone as we age. Virtually everyone experiences a
discrepancy between their needs and what their life actually brings them. What
we’re seeking to do here is understand more about the role unmet needs play in
our parents’ vulnerability to criminals who want to use their discrepancies
against them, and perhaps work with our elder loved ones to help them think more
clearly and have fewer unmet needs.
Let’s face it—the
perpetrators are better at their job of hurting people than the majority of
elders currently are at staying safe. Most people will never be able to tell
just by talking with someone whether or not that person is a criminal out to
steal from them. The crooks are incredibly skillful at reeling in their victims
without revealing their actual motives. Virtually everyone I’ve spoken with said
the scammers were “very friendly” and “seemed totally honest.” So what can be
done?
The most important you
can do to protect your parents or other senior loved one is to educate them
about scams. Have the conversations
regularly in case Mom or Dad does not remember well. Ask them if they have gotten any suspicious
phone calls or emails.
Make scam prevention and
education a frequent topic just as you enquire about their health. Your goal is not to frighten your senior but
to let them know you care about their welfare and want them to be smart and
savvy where these crooks are considered.
Art
Maines, LCSW, is a therapist in private practice and an expert in Elderly Fraud
Recovery and Prevention. His new book
Scammed: 3 Steps to Protect Your Elder Parents and Yourself, gives
in-depth information on scam prevention and
recovery.
1 comment:
Thanks again for taking part in the tour and hosting Art!
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