Escape Points
Escape Points by Michele Weldon
Chicago Review Press; 9/1/15
eBook review copy; 272 pages
ISBN-13: 9781613733523
http://micheleweldon.com/ Escape Points by Michele Weldon is a very highly recommended
memoir about a single mother trying to raise three sons (with an absent
ex), and survive cancer. Escape Points chronicles twenty-five years of her life after her divorce.
She divorces her physically and emotionally abusive ex-husband when
their boys are young (6, 4, and 1). He then removes himself completely
from their lives (and doesn't pay any support). Weldon shouldered
forward, carved out a career for herself, and made a life for her and
her boys. This included many, many wrestling matches for all three of
her boys. As she is struggling to keep everything together, she receives
the news that she has cancer and now must now juggle daily radiation
treatments. "You can do it all. You just cannot do it all well all of
the time..... Trying to make the most of the life you have been
granted is a noble thing to do. And the grace arrives."
"I knew I could not make up for the father who left my sons. I may never
be able to forgive myself for choosing a man who would treat our sons
this way. But his story is not mine. Mine is a story of what happens
when the door closes and you stand waist-high in the murky puddles
brought on from someone else’s tsunami. When the shock of the water
subsides and you realize you would never drown, you count your
blessings." Weldon feels guilty that she chose to marry someone who would go away;
someone who would willfully leave his children and place his desires
first. "I could do my part, but I
could never do both parts." This realization caused her to seek out and
turn to men of honor who could be a good male role model, including her
brother and an incredible wrestling coach who went above and beyond the
norm to take care of all of his "boys". I just wanted to hug her when Weldon wrote: "Children can forgive many
things - the hurts, the failures, the mistakes. But they cannot forgive
you forgetting that they come first." Yup, all children, even older
children, want the knowledge that they
are loved unconditionally. And it hurts when they aren't. I also sort of
want to hang out with Weldon and swap stories, especially when her
non-support paying ex sent the boys these odd messages about his needs
and desires without ever once saying he was sorry for everything he had
done to them, and then asking for their forgiveness.
Weldon noted that: "I heard a story on NPR a while back about a
108-year-old woman who managed to outlive and outwit most of her family
and friends. She had what experts called 'adaptive competence,' a
powerful trait that allows and inspires you to view your life as half
full regardless of setbacks. I think I have that. I know my sons do." I
wish them all the best.
The memoir is well written and organized by dates so you can keep track
of the time period. While I'll be the first to admit that not all parts
held my rapt attention (I like wrestling but I did skim through some of
the wrestling match discussions), I think, in totality, this is an
excellent memoir and should resonate deeply with the many single mothers
out there raising sons.
Disclosure: My Kindle edition was courtesy
of Chicago Review Press for review
purposes.
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