Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Don't Be A-Hatin' Amendment

I'm really looking forward to starting the Critical Monkey Contest but we have come up with a twist that is going to make it even more interesting.

It's the
Don't Be A-Hatin' Amendment where my daughter Just Me, a college sophomore, is going to pick out the books for me, her critical monkey mother, to read.


Think about it. She knows exactly what I read and enjoy. She also knows exactly what I would avoid, and be snobbish about, saying "I don't read _______." Plus she is allowed to assign up to 11 books, one book a month from August 2009-June 2010, rather than the official 7. As she so succinctly pointed out, "You read a lot. It won't kill you."

In this scintillating line up will be:

Pride and Prejudice. I've avoided reading this for years, whining "I don't read romance novels." I'm 50 years old. Exactly when do I think I will make the time to read it? Just me said, "It is ridiculous that you haven't read it yet, especially since you know it is Hipee's favorite book and movie and has been for years." She may assign some Bronte sister too.

Some Harlequin-type Romance. She's going to pick it out based mostly on the cover art and title. Just Me is going to look for a cover with some hot, sexy, shirtless man on it that promises everything a romance novel should be and maybe a little more. She will also consider the synopsis; if it sounds boring, she'll keep looking. This will be found at the used book store clearance area. Although I will pay for it, I am not allowed to see the book until it's home, waiting for me to read it. (My greatest fear is that she's going to find and assign more than one of these gems because she's rather excited about this selection and she has the power.)

A western. Just me will pick this out the same way she does the romance novel. Perhaps she'll be able to find something in the romance department. (shudder) Just Me doesn't know much about westerns, but she likes the idea of picking something out based on the cover art.

Some sort of fantasy novel. I often get snobbish about liking hard science fiction over almost all fantasy (with a few notable exceptions). She's going to look for a fantasy for me to read - something maybe with trolls, elves, and fairies that I would never pick up on my own.

There may be some sort of Star Wars book, something with Ewoks, Yoda, or Wookies. Wonder Boy said maybe she could find something like Star Wars: Vader Rising or Revenge of the Ewoks.

Just Me says she knows for a fact that I will not like Twilight, so she would rather save that allotted book for a more challenging selection, probably something with a hot, sexy man on the cover. The Snack King is going to start wondering what's up if he sees the covers of some of these books.

5 comments:

debnance said...

Interesting challenge. Your books would be just like my books. Most dreaded of all would have to be a Harlequin.

Lori L said...

I think the romance novels are going to be the most challenging. I've also promised to try and rate them fairly in my review, although
I may have to skip rating them.

Lisa said...

That's not an open mind! Of course, it doesn't sound like she's gonna be aiming for the best of the lot, romance-wise. It seems that if you're gonna do it, you should try to read something you stand a chance of enjoying and not just something to make fun of. (Uh, not trying to be critical, just spewing my thoughts.)

Lori L said...

Give her suggestions, Lisa!
Keep in mind that she IS going to make me read Pride and Prejudice first, hardly what could be described as the worst choice possible.

Also keep in mind that she could just be yankin' my chain, so to speak, with the other four ideas listed. I'm sure she will try to make most of the selections in a thoughtful manner. Actually the only selection we are pretty sure I won't like is the Harlequin-type romance, so who can blame her if she has a little fun with that. I might enjoy the western, fantasy, and Star Wars books. Since the Critical Monkey contest is for 7 books, but she's choosing 11, the extra 4 could reflect the worst options while the 7 could be more thoughtful choices. For example, she knows for a fact that when I read War and Peace many years ago, in high school, it was abridged.

Lisa said...

I will think about suggestions!

It would be cool to spend the 4 "extras" on something ridiculous. War and Peace though, that would take a big chunk of time in your month!