Wednesday, January 28, 2015

I Am Not a Slut

I Am Not a Slut by Leora Tanenbaum
HarperCollins: 2/3/2015
eBook review copy, 416 pages
ISBN-13: 9780062282590

http://www.leoratanenbaum.com/
Young women today are encouraged to express themselves sexually. Yet when they do, they are derided as "sluts." Caught in a double bind of mixed sexual messages, they're confused. To fulfill the contradictory roles of being sexy but not slutty, they create an "experienced" identity on social media—even if they are not sexually active—while ironically referring to themselves and their friends as "sluts."
But this strategy can become a weapon used against young women in the hands of peers who circulate rumors and innuendo—elevating age-old slut-shaming to deadly levels, with suicide among bullied teenage girls becoming increasingly common. Now, Leora Tanenbaum—senior writer and editor for the Planned Parenthood Federation of America, author of the groundbreaking work Slut!, and the writer who coined the term slut-bashing—revisits her influential work on sexual stereotyping to offer fresh insight into the digital and face-to-face worlds contemporary young women inhabit. She shares her new research, involving the experiences of a wide range of teenage girls and young women from a variety of backgrounds as well as parents, educators, and academics. Tanenbaum analyzes the coping mechanisms young women currently use and points them in a new direction to eradicate slut-shaming for good.
My Thoughts:

 I Am Not a Slut: Slut-Shaming in the Age of the Internet by Leora Tanenbaum is a highly recommended examination of the meaning of "slut" for young women today.

Young women today face a contradictory landscape. While they can be encourage to explore their sexuality they can also be humiliated and disgraced based on the same actions or no actions at all but simply at the discretion of others. Currently the word “slut” has a dual meaning and can either be used as a positive, creating a sense of esprit de corps between friends or it is a negative, harmful label that can cause pain well into adulthood. Tanenbaum explores the meaning of "slut" in adolescent and college-age women and why the usage of the word is increasing.

Tanenbaum's book includes interviews with many young women. Their stories and experiences are the examples used to document her points. She also examines and distinguishes between the negative acts of slut-bashing and slut-shaming. Slut-bashing is verbal harassment where "a girl is intentionally targeted because she does not adhere to feminine norms. Slut-shaming, on the other hand, is a casual and often indirect form of judgment." Adding to this already volatile mix is the wide variety of social media outlets that can be used to harass and  bully, often anonymously.

Women face the ongoing problem that "female body parts are regarded as offensive, female sexual activity is mocked as a competitive sport for guys or preyed upon as an opportunity for coercion, and even young girls are reduced to sexual playthings." It's easy to understand why young women might internalize their own objectification. Tanenbaum makes an argument that, "'Slut' is best regarded as a toxic four-letter word that should be quarantined if not buried." She makes it clear that "we can sharpen awareness that 'slut' is a violent label; when females are called sluts, sexual assault and self-assault all too often lurk nearby. But first there is an important distinction to make here: it’s not female sexuality that is dangerous, but the sexual double standard." I think most women have seen many examples over their lifetime where men  have become accustomed to treating women as sexual objects and worthless “sluts.”

This is an empowering examination of what the problem is behind the increased use of the word "slut" and how we can address the societal issues while helping and encouraging young women today. Clearly, anyone who currently has any contact with teenage or college-age women knows that the all-too-common use of the word "slut" needs to be addressed and some encouragement to reassess the use of the word would be beneficial. Since these young women use social media constantly Tanenbaum points out that it could be used as a tool for positive change in contrast to the negative we so often hear about.

Tanenbaum does an excellent job explaining the problem with many examples, and offers some suggested solutions. The book includes  in the appendices Do's and Don'ts for Parents of Teenagers and College-Age Children; The Slut-Shaming Self Defense Toolkit; and a list of Resources

Table of Contents:
Introduction
What’s the Same, What’s Different
Are You a “Good Slut” or a “Bad Slut”?
Slut--Bashing: Face--to--Face and in Cyberspace
Reciprocal Slut--Shaming: Sexual Identity in an Online World
“Good Slut” Containment Strategies
“Bad Slut” Coping Mechanisms
The Rape of a “Slut” Is Rape
Can “Slut” Be Reclaimed?
Creative Solutions to Eliminate “Slut”
Appendix A: Do's and Don'ts for Parents of Teenagers and College-Age Children
Appendix B: The Slut-Shaming Self Defense Toolkit
Appendix C: Resources
Acknowledgments, notes


Disclosure: My Kindle edition was courtesy of HarperCollins for review purposes.

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