Useful Work Phrases

1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

2. I didn't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it is hard to pronounce.

3. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?

4. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

5. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

6. No, my powers can only be used for good.

7. How about never? Is never good for you?

8. You sound reasonable. Time to up my medication.

9. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

10. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

11. Who me? I just wander from room to room.

12. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!

13. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.

14. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.

15. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

16. I see you have set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

17. Someday we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

18. Time to go. The mother ship has landed.

(I found this list originally from 1999 while cleaning out my desk and felt it needed to be shared with others again.)