The Barbies, Ken, and GI Joe

When I was a young girl I loved playing with Barbies. I probably played with Barbies longer than most other girls of my age. I understand all the bla-bla-bla concerning Barbie’s figure and a young girl’s self esteem, but I have to tell you, it wasn’t an issue with me and my Barbies. We were all tough girls and didn’t let our great figures or love of accessories hold us back. My collection of Barbies only had one Ken, but we were all good with that. Who, really, let’s be honest now, needed more than one male on a normal day-to-day basis?

Sometimes, though, ED (My older brother, El Dictator) would be bored out of his mind and unable to talk me into playing with something other than my Barbies. On those very rare occasions, if he really wanted to play with me, he would have to swallow his pride, get out a GI Joe and all his accessories, er, weapons, and play Barbies with me. Playing Barbies with me wasn’t all that bad. I was still the same sister who played Killer Tricycle and Flood! with ED. And besides, as I mentioned, my Barbies might have enjoyed their accessories, heels, and some nice formal wear, but they also were tough babes whose favorite game with the one Ken was Amazon Women. Yeah. If Ken dared to come to our island kingdom we captured him and tied him up good. If ED decided to play Barbies with me, it could still be akin to playing with GI Joes, only with an army of Amazon warriors.

Any scenario we decided on for our games could not entail Barbie versus GI Joe. I had enough Barbies that they could easily swarm GI Joe, disarm him, and tie him to the hood of the Barbie car, all before breakfast. It really wouldn’t be a fair fight. I’m not sure where the poor Ken stood in all the action. He was handsome, but he didn’t have the weapons GI Joe did, and, lets face reality here, he was pretty subservient to the Barbies’ whims. Even if ED had Ken join GI Joe in an effort to repel the Barbie hordes, Ken was pretty much guaranteed to be the first to fall in any skirmish. Really, the guy was always smiling and had no scars, gear, or camo.

Hipee (my younger sister, High Powered Executive) was definitely my preferred Barbie-playing companion, and she brought her own collection of Barbies, along with a Truly Scrumptious in 1968, into the game. What ED contributed was a few large vehicles, like a dump truck for a troop transport or camper, and a large red sports car that the Barbies could sort of ride on, perched on the hood. Hipee and I would liberate his trucks and the sports car from time to time for our own Barbie games. Since ED was not good with Amazon Women, we had to play something different, normally some sort of adventure. I can’t for the life of me recall what we played, only that we did play Barbies together.

While ED was a reluctant Barbie-playing companion, play he did. ED, of course, would probably deny the fact that he ever played Barbies with me and would plead no memory of any such event ever taking place. Since he is getting on in years, I’ll extend him the grace to not insist he remember playing Barbies with me, but it is at times like this that I wish memories could be replayed like movies so I could provide actual footage of ED played with Barbies. That would make for a glorious family movie night.