Monday, June 1, 2015

I'm Happy for You

I'm Happy for You by Kay Wills Wyma
Crown Publishing: 5/5/2015
eBook review copy, 240 pages

trade paperback ISBN-13: 9781601425959

My Thoughts:
I'm Happy for You by Kay Wills Wyma is highly recommended. If we refuse to allow comparison to control our thoughts and emotions, we can be more content and full of joy.

The complete title of Kay Wills Wyma book, I'm Happy for You (Sort Of...Not Really): Finding Contentment in a Culture of Comparison, really explains the whole premise of the book. Wyma points out that most of us suffer from "Obsessive Comparison Disorder." When we are constantly concern about measuring ourselves in comparison to others it can take the joy away from things we like and all of that perceived competition can sap our energy and steal our contentment. 

Comparison to others is really all about self-absorption and self-centered thinking. All of that focus on comparison can create dissatisfaction, even though many of the goals other people have were never our goals to begin with. We can help break free of Obsessive Comparison Disorder by being able to say "I'm happy for you," and truly meaning it. We need to try to celebrate what others are sharing without comparing our lives to theirs. 

Wyma wisely points out that, "Even now I wonder how many of life’s gifts I have labeled hardship and thus missed enjoying their benefits. How many times have my eyes been closed in self-pity or focused on what I thought I wanted. Good things exist in the midst of bad circumstances, if we’re willing to look for them."

She shares a Ctrl/Alt/Delete strategy when dealing with Obsessive Comparison Disorder:
Ctrl: Control the Thought Process by Pausing to Recognize the Problem. Curing comparison starts by being aware and by identifying the signs that it has infiltrated our thinking.
Alt: Consider an Alternative Perspective.
Delete: Eliminate Comparison - or at Least Tone It Down

I loved the quote from Anne Lamott that Wyma shared: "I can still get my jeans on, for one reason: I wear forgiving pants. The world is too hard as it is, without letting your pants have an opinion on how you are doing.

Disclosure: My Kindle edition was courtesy of Crown Publishing for review purposes.

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