Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Woman goes on Murderous Rampage

When surrounded by home invaders at eight different entry points today, Lori, a local woman, took action and viciously fought back. Just Me, Lori's daughter, alerted her to the planned home invasion when Just Me saw the intruders swarming through her windows. Armed only with her bare hands, a paper towel, ant spray, and sheer determination, Lori fought a vicious battle with hoards of winged ants who were pouring into eight different windows in the house. For awhile it looked like it would be easier to leave the house to the ants and flee, but after doggedly standing her ground and inhaling enough ant killer to cause her serious future health concerns, it appears that she has once again successfully stopped the intruders from taking over. When spoken to later, Lori said, "After the plumber fiasco this morning was followed the ant invasion this afternoon, I think it is time to leave the little house in the big woods and move." Later that evening the dog threw up... four times. Lori has settled into reading a plague book, always a grim sign.

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